I’ve been wrestling through this for the last few weeks, after I found out that two of my infections, Lyme and Babesia, are still active. It explains a lot of my ongoing symptoms, but it is discouraging since I treated hardcore for a few years and saw much improvement. Chronic illness is a roller coaster.
Facing another antibiotics round and then a long-term herbal protocol is something I definitely didn’t see coming, especially as I look towards my next decade of life.
But here I am again, staring at this one month supply of different antibiotics. I know my immune system is much more stable today than 4.5 years ago when I started Lyme treatment and that this will help. Even still, fear, anxiety, dread, grief hit in waves.
Is God good, even if He asks me to repeat the thing that I previously found to be the darkest season of life?
Yes, because God gives grace for each difficult moment, as I’ve experienced again and again.
So here I am, acknowledging, “not my will but Yours be done”, knowing that as God asks me to walk through treatment again, He will be faithful. I’m entrusting the unknowns of my life, health, and financial burden of treatment, to Jesus—my great Provider.
And so I can walk forward in faith, confident that Jesus will not lead me through anything He hasn’t already walked through (Heb. 4:15-16), and that He will never leave me.
Today’s pain is temporary, but my hope is eternal.
