We look at things from our minute perspective and think God is with us and answers prayer if He gives us good things. If He gives me a good grade on a test, or heals my friend of sickness, or gives me a good job, or restores the broken relationship, or provides the spouse or child I’ve prayed for—THEN He is a good God who answers prayer.
But really, all I've done is slapped the world’s perspective on happiness (success, things) on Christian lingo.
What if God’s blessing—the deepest form of grace and love—was actually a no? What if blessing was a form of sustaining grace instead of saving grace? We don’t like to talk about those kinds of answers to prayer because, honestly, they’re hard.
This is what I wrestled with in chronic illness.
What if God never healed me? Could I still love and trust Him? Would He still be loving? Could God be blessing me with weakness and a hard life? Phew, I did not want to think about that.
What if God’s blessing—the deepest form of grace and love—was actually a no? What if blessing was a form of sustaining grace instead of saving grace? We don’t like to talk about those kinds of answers to prayer because, honestly, they’re hard.
This is what I wrestled with in chronic illness.
What if God never healed me? Could I still love and trust Him? Would He still be loving? Could God be blessing me with weakness and a hard life? Phew, I did not want to think about that.
Joni Eareckson Tada talks about her paralysis as one of God’s greatest blessings in her life because of how it saved her from herself:
“I had to be healed of my desire to be healed.”
And that’s what prayer does. Tears well up in my eyes as I think back to 7 years ago when I prayed for healing from my bedridden state. I wanted so desperately to be back to normal. Now, I'm still here doing Lyme treatment. If you told me then I'd still be fighting this disease a decade later, I might've killed myself.
“I had to be healed of my desire to be healed.”
And that’s what prayer does. Tears well up in my eyes as I think back to 7 years ago when I prayed for healing from my bedridden state. I wanted so desperately to be back to normal. Now, I'm still here doing Lyme treatment. If you told me then I'd still be fighting this disease a decade later, I might've killed myself.
But instead, through prayer and pain and process, God helped me release my desire to be healed.
And you know what? That enabled me to enjoy life much more within my limitations. Yes, it's still hard and frustrating to have waves of fatigue and pain, or to still be dumping money into Lyme treatment. But God has blessed me with the ability to be part of work and community again, and to appreciate what I can do.
That’s what God’s gentle process of suffering does. If we let Him do His work, and don’t refuse it with fists up, fighting Him with anger and bitterness, we will become different people. He will turn our eyes away from our difficulties and towards eternity.
And that will be so much better than “the answer” you initially prayed for.
Will you let Him do His work?
And that will be so much better than “the answer” you initially prayed for.
Will you let Him do His work?
