Hoping Against Hope in Chronic Illness

Hope is hard to hold onto when you battle chronic illness. Studies show that it takes an average of 3-5 years to get an accurate diagnosis, usually seeing 5 different doctors (and many people see a lot more!).

This means that there’s a whole lot of waiting in chronic illness, and subsequently, much disappointment and heartache. I know I’ve had many doctor appointments where I’ve just cried afterwards because I was so overwhelmed, discouraged, and exhausted. There have been numerous days where I doubted I would ever get a root diagnosis. Countless days where I’ve completely lost hope of healing. And to be completely honest, there have been many days where I wanted to give up on life itself.

The life of Abraham both challenges and encourages me in this journey towards healing. Romans 4:18-21 summarizes:

“In hope he believed against hope, that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been told, “So shall your offspring be.” He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead (since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah's womb. No unbelief made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.”

Did you catch that? “In hope he believed against hope…” (v. 18)

What an incredible phrase. Abraham was old—so from a physical perspective, it was impossible for him to have any children. But he believed God would fulfill His promise. Abraham grounded his hope in a faithful God. He hoped against hope.

God hasn’t clearly promised that He would heal you or me. So our circumstances are a little different. But we too must learn what it means to hope against hope when the storms of life suffocate us.

It’s not uncommon to despair when a new treatment or medication doesn’t seem to work at all. Over the last few years, I’ve continually tried various treatments, medications, diet regimens, detox protocols, and more. I’ve had more blood drawn and tests run than I would’ve ever expected in my life. Sometimes it appears nothing makes a difference, and I despair I will never improve.

And that’s where I must learn to hope, like Abraham, against what seems likely or realistic. I have to trust that God is working and not lose hope of healing. Because if I lose hope, I will no longer fight. No longer take the necessary steps to help heal my infections. Everything will seem in vain, and I will lose sight of why I'm going through all this work and and expense.

Does this mean I should believe God will guarantee me complete healing? Not necessarily. While it would be a tremendous answer to prayer, God does not “owe me” healing; hard as that is to admit. I'd like to think I deserve to be healthy and have a normal life. Sometimes God’s work of grace comes through healing, but not always. Because of this, I believe one of the great challenges in fighting chronic illness is to remain hopeful of healing, without putting your hope in healing.

Does that make sense?

Don’t lose hope of healing for your chronic illness. Keep searching for answers. Continue to try different methods that could help, even though it takes so long to discern if it makes any impact. Look for different doctors who could give input into your condition. Yet at the same time, learn to trust that even if that takes years or you never get back to “normal” — God is still good. He is worthy of your trust and hope.

Hope in Him, despite persisting, seemingly hopeless circumstances. Fight to remain hopeful and pursue healing, but learn to hope in something greater than physical healing. Hope that isn't circumstantial, but a person: a Savior who took on the greatest pain so you might be healed from the separation your sin brought. That is the greatest healing, the most glorious hope, the magnificent reality we can set our eyes towards today.

Hoping against hope is a process, and one I'm still learning. So don't lose heart if you are struggling to remain hopeful. Keep taking your pain and your struggles to the Heavenly Father. Ask Him to help you hope in Him. He loves you more than you know.