I have a secret: I love Myers-Briggs personality typing. Actually, it’s not much of a secret if you know me well. Figuring out others’ personalities for the sake of more effectively understanding and communicating with them is an odd hobby of mine. Sometimes I get teased about my so-called "obsession" with it.
Intriguing information floods from personality studies. You can find the best career path for your type, what motivates you, how you handle conflict, your typical responses, what energizes you and what stresses you out. You can even learn what other personalities you get along with best.
I think it can be very helpful, and I appreciate the information from MBTI and other studies. But the truth is that it’s not always right. Yes, there's a lot of good to glean from personality studies. However, there’s something that far outweighs personality compatibility, and that is the gospel. You see:
The gospel destroys all barriers.
We often think of the gospel destroying the barriers of race or class. The power to love brothers and sisters who are not like us culturally or ethnically has been provided through the gospel. But did you realize the same goes for personality? Through the gospel, we are supernaturally enabled to love all people—even those with whom we clash personality-wise.
You know what that means? There’s no excuse for failing to love that demanding boss, the messy roommate, the annoying sibling, that person at church I just don’t “click with,” that co-worker or fellow student who always rubs me the wrong way. For if we simply love those who are similar to us, what value does that have? (Mt. 5:46)
Granted, some people are harder to love than others. We will struggle to understand some people. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t possible or that we have an excuse to give up on them. Rather it is because of the gospel that we can love all people, no matter how different they are from us.
A few of the personalities that I supposedly clash with are actually my closest friends. Yes, it takes hard work. My sister and I are total opposites in many ways (INFP and ESFJ for those who are really curious). Yet those differences are good, and we have learned so much from each other over the years that would not be possible if we were just alike. It’s humbling to set aside my own preferences and learn to love those who are different from me, but it is so rewarding.
I believe Myers-Briggs can be very beneficial, especially when it comes to understanding others, recognizing their strengths, and communicating well with them. But we can also use differences to excuse why we can't talk to someone or why we always argue with that one acquaintance or co-worker. So the next time you find yourself complaining about the personality problems with someone or think you could never get along with a "that person," remember this:
God lavished His love you, so you now have the ability to love others–even those who irk you.
The barriers erected by personality differences have been demolished by the gospel. Perhaps, instead of allowing differences to separate you, you need to humbly love and pursue that person that is difficult. After all, a friendship with someone who is not just like you more clearly magnifies the beauty of the gospel.
And isn't that what we want our lives to shine forth?
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