Fighting to Persevere

Some days the tears won’t stop. I don’t mean because of grief or a difficult circumstance; I just mean because of exhaustion, pain, weariness, and general discouragement. This is not uncommon in life with chronic illness (and herxing from increased chronic Lyme doses again). It is an intense battle for me to focus on truth between the tears and pain. I want to give up on treatment. On doing emotionally draining things. On trying anything new. Or just trying to live life semi-normally (whatever that means). I don’t even want to keep going. Everything in life feels disheartening.

The last couple days I've been reading and thinking about the latter part of Hebrews 10. It speaks to me in my suffering (and in yours):

"Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised… But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls." Heb. 10:35-36, 39

The author of Hebrews knows suffering can weigh us down and tempt us to give up. That's why he tells us that we have need of endurance (v. 36) and that we must not throw away our confidence (v. 35). Then he gives us hope. If God is sovereign over our lives (and He is) then part of doing the will of God (v. 36) is persevering through suffering, hard as it may be. But if we do, we have a promise to receive—an imperishable inheritance for all of eternity. It is a an eternal focus that keeps us fighting to persevere.

Some will face suffering and turn away from God. This picture of "shrinking back" in verse 39 is one of giving up or withdrawing in fear. But believers are those who "have faith and preserve their souls" (v. 39).

I don't know about you, but I don't have an ounce of perseverance within me. Somedays I honestly don't know how I've made it to today. How can I keep from becoming one of those "who shrink back and are destroyed?"

Then I'm reminded of a crucial truth sometimes referred to as "the perseverance of the saints" that my brother has reminded me of (through playing it on the piano lately):

When I fear my faith will fail
Christ will hold me fast
When the tempter would prevail
He will hold me fast
I could never keep my hold
Through life’s fearful path
For my love is often cold
He must hold me fast

The truth is, I can’t do this on my own. But Christ holds me and preserves my faith. Matthew Henry puts it this way:

“And those who have been kept faithful in great trials for the time past, have reason to hope for the same grace to help them still to live by faith, till they receive the end of their faith and patience, even the salvation of their souls.” 

So don’t give up or shrink back, no matter how difficult your circumstances may be. Lift up your eyes towards eternity as you fight to persevere and turn to the One who is holding you and keeping you to the end.