Take Me Back to the Good Ol' Days

“Wish we could turn back time to the good old days…” Twenty One Pilots

All of us have natural tendencies to be past, present, or future oriented. None of these ways of looking at the world are wrong in and of themselves. In fact, unique perspectives provide different strengths and insights into life. Diversity is a beautiful thing.

Over the last few years of chronic illness and difficulties, I’ve identified a strong tendency to be past-oriented. I look back five or more years ago and remember how great life was—how much I enjoyed work, people, and life. I remember how passionate and eager I was to impact the world.

Those were the “good ol’ days”.

There is wisdom in remembering the past. God often warned Israel that their complaining and unfaithfulness was due to forgetting. But interestingly, the Israelites were actually looking back and remembering something. Yet not in the way God intended:

“And the whole congregation of the people of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness, and the people of Israel said to them, “Would that we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the meat pots and ate bread to the full, for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.” Exodus 16:2-3

Israel looked back on their slavery, and all they could see was that they had plenty of food. They looked back on their bondage with a type of nostalgia that it was better than their current circumstances. Instead of seeing God's faithfulness in delivering them, they could only focus on their perceived losses.

I'm far too like the Israelites than I'd care to admit. In my efforts to look back and remember something happy, I’m not always considering God’s faithfulness, but rather using it as an excuse to gripe about my current circumstances (this isn’t fair) or bemoan in self-pity (why me?).

“And the people complained in the hearing of the Lord about their misfortunes, and when the Lord heard it, his anger was kindled, and the fire of the Lord burned among them and consumed some outlying parts of the camp.” Numbers 11:1

God’s anger burned against Israel in their complaining and caused some of them to die! That’s pretty strong. But they still didn't relent...

“And the people of Israel also wept again and said, “Oh that we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt that cost nothing, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic. But now our strength is dried up, and there is nothing at all but this manna to look at.” Numbers 11:4b-6

If you battle chronic illness, you know how tempting it is to look back on how life was before and to long for that again. Wanting to be healthy or involved in normal life is not wrong. Grieving the loss is ok. Maintaining hope for healing is crucial. But if looking back to how life was before sickness leads you to complain and get angry with God, that is not the kind of remembering God intends. It is sin.

I struggle with this too. Life is not how I would like it, and it’s easy for me to get stuck seeing all the negative. If you've been there, the gospel gives us hope if we confess our sin of complaining. We don't have to face the the anger of the Lord because Jesus bore His wrath on our behalf. But God didn't save us to let us remain in our sin. He graciously brings conviction that we might turn away from it and turn to Him, finding freedom and hope.

As we look to the past, let's be careful that we are remembering God’s faithfulness and goodness, leading to gratitude, and not complaining about our losses.

"I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds." Psalm 77:11-12