When the Holidays Are Hard

The holiday season is supposed to be "merry and bright," full of excitement and wonder...
but do you feel the exact opposite?

Does it seem like you have nothing to be thankful for or excited about this year? Nothing to look forward to? That everything’s been taken away and God is more against you than for you?

Many people experience deep sadness, depression, resurfacing bad memories, or even night terrors around the holidays. While there is a lot of hype and excitement about this season, it can discourage those who are hurting even more, as it’s another reminder of what has been lost.

If you’ve lost your health due to chronic illness, are facing relational conflict, grieving a loss, or despairing about Christmas because of the difficulty of life, let me encourage you with a few reminders:

1. It’s ok if the holidays are hard. Holidays can be a very difficult time for so many reasons. It's part of life in a broken, sin-cursed world. Instead of feeling guilty and despairing that it’s so hard, continually ask God to give you grace for each day. He will provide.

2. It’s good to cry out in the pain. It's natural to hate the pain you're facing, whether that's physical or emotional. It's normal to struggle. And it's good to grieve the pain and the losses. As you cry out in the pain, let it push you to God and not away from Him. He is a great Comforter.

3. Excitement and joy are not the end goal. If you are struggling to make it though the holidays, you don't have to hype yourself up or force joy. Yet even when it's really hard, it's helpful to focus on what you do have instead of what you've lost. This helps direct your heart and mind to what is true and give you a sense of gratitude in the difficulty. Ask God to help you see how you can honor Him through the pain. And talk to a friend or family member who can help you see past the fog.

4. Be thankful for the little things. Was your pain more endurable today? Did someone unexpectedly send you a text or a gift? Did a doctor's appointment reveal something you were unaware of? Did you have a warm drink today or a delicious meal? Did you see a clear evidence of God's grace and kindness towards you? Instead of being consumed by the losses, thank God for those small blessings.

5. Remember the greatest truth—Immanuel is “God with us”. The beauty of the Christmas season is not in the memories, the traditions, the people, or the gifts (although those are good things). The most comforting truth is that God came to dwell with us, sinful men and women, to bring hope and redemption. Jesus entered our brokenness to bring us freedom from sin. He, Immanuel, has not left you alone, but walks with you today.

As you struggle through the pain associated with the winter holidays, may you also find comfort in the God and Father who dwells with us, amidst the pain and the messiness. May that truth bring hope and comfort to our weary hearts.