Birthday Reflections

What does it mean to live well as a young adult? Having great ambition? Accomplishing Kingdom work? Achieving a successful career? Going where no one’s gone before? Leaving your mark on the world? Doing more than the average person?

I grew up setting goals and tackling them. I got my BA at 19, had a successful piano studio, was very involved with church, people, and other forms of ministry. I felt pretty accomplished for young person.

But my mid-twenties have been far from that. I lost all of those “successes” and was forced to simply accomplish the bare minimum, mostly due to chronic illness. From my own perspective, it feels like a waste. What have I done? What am I accomplishing? How am I making a difference? What value do I have? Is my life producing anything?

As I reflected back on this last year of life (as I often do on my birthday), I realized I was asking the wrong questions. You see, we have a human problem of comparison, thinking that we have to do what everyone else does in order to be a successful Christian. But often comparison is just foolish (2 Cor. 10:12).

It is commendable to set high goals. But our successes or accomplishments in and of themselves do not make life fruitful.

Physical limitations have kept me from accomplishing as much. Whenever I think about where I’m at in life, it’s tempting to feel like a failure.

But God isn’t looking for my success. He wants my faithfulness. Right now, in this season, life looks significantly different from what I expected. But that doesn’t mean that my life is a waste. And neither is yours.

Obedience is often different than we imagine. Sometimes obedience means remaining faithful in the fire of suffering and not giving up on life. That’s not the type of exciting, risk-taking obedience we imagine when we think of the Christian walk. But it is radical, because it fights against everything we want—our own sin and selfishness. It is the obedience in the hard and mundane that is perhaps one of the most difficult things we will do.

Remembering God’s faithfulness and where He has brought you is key to continuing when everything feels hopeless. When life isn’t going as you expected and it feels like you’ve done nothing worthwhile, look to the cross. Your worth is not in your accomplishments. It’s not in success. It’s not in relationships. It’s not in marriage or ministry.

It’s in Christ.

A life well spent is one where we find our hope and value in Him. And you can do that no matter what season you find yourself or what limitations you have. Take heart:

"His delight is not in the strength of the horse, 

nor his pleasure in the legs of a man, 

but the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, 

in those who hope in his steadfast love." 

Psalm 147:10-11

Hope and Help for Chronic Illness booklet GIVEAWAY!

I’m hosting a giveaway of my NEW booklet, Hope and Help for Chronic Illness, co-authored with Dr. Mark Shaw (and endorsed by Joni Eareckson Tada)!

This resource flowed from my deepest struggles in chronic illness and was written with a wise biblical counselor and author. Whether or not you also personally battle chronic illness, you probably know someone who does, so we believe everyone will benefit from this booklet. The issues surrounding chronic illness are very complex—but there is hope, no matter how difficult the circumstance.

Please join the giveaway and share with everyone you know!

TO ENTER:

1. FOLLOW me on one or more of my social media accounts and "like" my giveaway post.

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2. TAG a friend in a comment on one of the "giveaway" social media posts! (For an extra entry!)

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Winner will be randomly chosen on Saturday September 1, 2018 and announced on my social media accounts. Entries in the USA only.

The Anointing of Suffering

Suffering. Trials. Adversity. Words we cringe at and circumstances we would avoid at all costs. However, while we desperately long to avoid difficulties, it is one of the clearest ways God refines, prepares, and sets apart.

Some of the most anointed people are ones who have greatly suffered.

Suffering’s Anointing
You may never have thought of suffering as a type of anointing. Seems contradictory, doesn’t it? It's tempting to think of suffering as God's punishment.

In the Old Testament, God anointed kings—His way of setting them apart for particular work. And I believe that suffering is one of God’s key forms of anointing believers today, preparing them for greater work.

This is backwards from the typical way we view suffering. We are quick, like Job’s friends, to self-righteously look on others who are suffering and ask, “Is not your evil abundant? There is no end to your iniquities.” (Job 22:5)

If we’re honest, I think we’re sometimes looking for a horrible reason that other people suffer and justification that we won’t suffer like them. The disciples did this when they asked Jesus if it was because of a man’s sin or his parents that he was born blind (John 9:2). Jesus’s response? “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.” (v. 3) Let’s not play God by assuming someone is suffering because of their sin.

Suffering’s Comrades
I don’t think I have to remind you of all the Scriptural examples of people who experienced significant suffering. Job. Joseph. David. Daniel. Paul. And countless others. Was it a form of discipline or punishment? Hebrews 11 tells us that it was a sign of their faith. This was God’s way of anointing and purifying His people.

Additionally, there are endless stories from history of Christians who suffered deeply. Hudson Taylor. John Patton. Charles Spurgeon. Elisabeth Elliot. Amy Carmichael. I could spend all day writing stories of the difficulties they encountered. Would anyone say it was because of his or her sin? Never!

We all long to be like these heroes of the faith. But in order to be like those saints, we would have to go through the depths of suffering that they faced. Most of us don't ponder what it took for them to become such great examples, and if we knew it all, we wouldn't choose to go through the same adversity. If you are in a season of testing through suffering, know that there are many others before you that God mightily prepared and anointed through suffering.

Suffering’s Fruit
Suffering, no matter the form, is unbelievably hard. But don’t fear suffering. Fear life going so well that you become self-reliant and independent, rendering you ineffective to love and serve those around you.

Your suffering is not wasted. It is God’s way of anointing and purifying you to prepare you for greater effectiveness. You may not even recognize the countless implications and fruit.

Your suffering produces endurance (Rom. 5:3-4).
Your suffering yields greater future glory (Rom. 8:18, Jam. 1:12, 1 Pet. 4:12-13).
Your suffering makes you a better comforter to others who are suffering (2 Cor. 1:4-5).

These are just a few examples of the fruit of suffering. Fruit you cannot produce on your own. The fruit that results from the anointing of suffering.

Battling Discouragement

There are many things in life that can discourage and drag us down. Past hurt, broken relationships, financial stress, chronic illness, prodigal family member or friend, church conflict, our own sin. You name it; there is always something that tempts us to despair.

When it comes to discouragement in chronic illness, it’s been my experience that symptoms can alter my perception of reality. High pain or fatigue inevitably produces discouragement. But not only that; the rollercoaster of emotions and symptoms over time can lead to ongoing discouragement and despair about life in general.

I’ve battled discouragement already this week. One day, I woke up with energy and motivation, and got some tasks accomplished. It felt great. And then the next day I woke up feeling like I had been run over by a truck. Exhaustion and pain and many random symptoms flared. I started to cry that I could still swing that dramatically from day to day. I felt like I was backtracking—again.

Where is the hope on these days? How can we battle discouragement in life? 
There is one simple (but not easy) thing you can do today:

Cling to the Rock.

David cries out in the Psalms:

"Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy." Psalm 61:1-3

It is normal to fight discouragement and despair in a broken and sin-cursed world. But it doesn’t have to weigh you down and crush you. When you face the reality of the brokenness of your own body, a relationship, or anything else, run to the Rock: "Be to me a rock of refuge, to which I may continually come." Psalm 71:3

Do you notice how it says, "to which I may continually come"? This is not a one-time deal. We are dependent people who need God’s grace and strength to daily face the discouragement without it crushing us. There's an old hymn that reminds us of this:

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul give way,
He then is all my hope and stay.
-The Solid Rock

When you can't see past the fog of discouragement, when everything around you seems to be falling apart, there is a Rock that is steadfast. One who loves and cares tremendously for you, who never leaves you or forsakes you.

On the days you're overwhelmed, discouraged, and tempted to despair, don't try to solve the difficult life problems on your own. It only leads to greater despair. Cling to the Rock until that storm lightens a little. And then look around carefully and see the Father's support and protection amidst the whelming flood. This will provide hope as you battle the discouragement of today.

The Tapestry of Suffering

When I was younger, I had questions about why God kept moving us from state to state. Why I couldn't find a friend. Over the last few years I've had many doubts about church and ministry because of the deep hurt and suffering I've experienced from it. I've wondered about my future because of chronic illness, and why my dreams were taken away. There is so much about suffering that doesn't make sense in my mind.

It is normal to have doubts and questions about suffering. We question what God is doing and wonder what He is up to in our pain.

Corrie Ten Boom experienced profound suffering. Because her family hid Jews in their home, Corrie and her family were imprisoned in a Nazi Concentration Camp. Her father and sister died there. She had to wonder what God was doing. And yet God used her experiences to powerfully impact and comfort many, even after her death.

God is weaving beautiful things in your suffering that you cannot yet see.

Corrie expresses in The Tapestry poem:

My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me.
I cannot choose the colors
He weaveth steadily.
Oft’ times He weaveth sorrow;
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I the underside.
Not ’til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas
And reveal the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
In the weaver’s skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned
He knows, He loves, He cares;
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives the very best to those
Who leave the choice to Him.

God hates suffering. It is a result of the brokenness of sin. He does not delight in your pain. But the amazing thing is... He redeems it. It is never wasted.

I wouldn't ask for the trials I've faced. But I wouldn't give back the growth that God has done in my heart. I have seen little glimmers of God's work. The last few years of suffering (namely chronic illness) have immensely deepened my compassion and grace for others who are struggling. It really is true that He comforts us in our affliction so we can comfort others (2 Cor. 1:4).

Similarly, God is working beautiful things through your difficulty in ways you cannot comprehend. It is painful and sorrowful for now, because we only see the underside of the tapestry. But He loves you. He has not forgotten you in your pain.

God is weaving a beautiful tapestry out of the hurts, the disappointments, and the trials you've faced. 

It is not in vain. Let those dark threads do their work. The Weaver is wise and gentle.