The Tapestry of Suffering

When I was younger, I had questions about why God kept moving us from state to state. Why I couldn't find a friend. Over the last few years I've had many doubts about church and ministry because of the deep hurt and suffering I've experienced from it. I've wondered about my future because of chronic illness, and why my dreams were taken away. There is so much about suffering that doesn't make sense in my mind.

It is normal to have doubts and questions about suffering. We question what God is doing and wonder what He is up to in our pain.

Corrie Ten Boom experienced profound suffering. Because her family hid Jews in their home, Corrie and her family were imprisoned in a Nazi Concentration Camp. Her father and sister died there. She had to wonder what God was doing. And yet God used her experiences to powerfully impact and comfort many, even after her death.

God is weaving beautiful things in your suffering that you cannot yet see.

Corrie expresses in The Tapestry poem:

My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me.
I cannot choose the colors
He weaveth steadily.
Oft’ times He weaveth sorrow;
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I the underside.
Not ’til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas
And reveal the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
In the weaver’s skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned
He knows, He loves, He cares;
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives the very best to those
Who leave the choice to Him.

God hates suffering. It is a result of the brokenness of sin. He does not delight in your pain. But the amazing thing is... He redeems it. It is never wasted.

I wouldn't ask for the trials I've faced. But I wouldn't give back the growth that God has done in my heart. I have seen little glimmers of God's work. The last few years of suffering (namely chronic illness) have immensely deepened my compassion and grace for others who are struggling. It really is true that He comforts us in our affliction so we can comfort others (2 Cor. 1:4).

Similarly, God is working beautiful things through your difficulty in ways you cannot comprehend. It is painful and sorrowful for now, because we only see the underside of the tapestry. But He loves you. He has not forgotten you in your pain.

God is weaving a beautiful tapestry out of the hurts, the disappointments, and the trials you've faced. 

It is not in vain. Let those dark threads do their work. The Weaver is wise and gentle.