Confidence When Life is Bleak

Do you ever question whether you can survive another day of pain or heartache, feeling like everything around you is bleak?

It's ok to wrestle with discouragement from the brokenness of life. We all have days where we feel we have no confidence or hope left. But as we face hardship, we have cling to truth in the desperate moments. Hebrews 10:35 encourages us:

"Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward." 

That phrase strikes me every time. There is reward in persevering and not giving up. The only problem is, while I want to remain confident and hopeful in any form of suffering, the reality is—I’m not. I battle doubt, fear, envy, discouragement, hopelessness, and a host of other things.

But what I love about Hebrews 10 is that it’s not simply a command to do better. It’s not a “Suck it and up and deal with your pain” exhortation. Nor is it a denial of the difficulty. No, there’s something bigger than us that solidifies our hope:

The blood of Jesus gives us complete access to the Father.

Stop and think about that. We have tremendous confidence in suffering because Jesus made a way for us to enter the holy place. (Heb. 10:19)

In the Old Testament, only the high priest could enter the holy place, and just once a year. It required the sacrifice of an animal, representing the blood shed for the sins of the people of God. Jesus fulfilled the sacrificial system by becoming the once-for-all, perfect sacrifice. And in doing so, He destroyed the curtain that separated us from God. This is the foundation of our confidence.

So when you fall into despair, when you sin, when you wrestle with the ongoing trials you face—you have a great High Priest to run to. One who knows and sympathizes with your weaknesses (Heb. 4:15). Don’t turn away from Him because you’re struggling or things are difficult. Run to the throne of grace (Heb. 4:16).

On the days you feel like God has abandoned you or is against you, look to the cross. Jesus shed His own blood to redeem you. To give you complete access to the Father who loves and cares for you. He could not abandon you now.

How does that provide confidence when life is bleak? Because today, we have the ability to draw near to a holy God. We can cry out for grace in our struggles and our failures. Our hope for hanging on is not based on ourselves. And that is a powerful, freeing reality. So then...

"...let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful." Heb. 10:22-23

Let's turn to God in our weakness and experience His nearness, care, and faithful provision for today.

Detours: An Unexpected Grace

Some days, I get things checked off my to-do list and am proud of my accomplishments. Other days, I have grand plans, and my symptoms nail me, forcing me to stop and rest.

Early on in chronic illness, I lived in almost constant frustration with the de-railing of my plans and would become incredibly overwhelmed at my inability to accomplish my goals. However, over the last few years God has continued to teach me to rest and accept the detours as a form of grace.

While setting and accomplishing goals are very good things, it’s so easy for me to attach my worth to what I do. I become obsessed with my accomplishments, my success, my dreams, my goals, my ministry.

So God, in His grace, gently reminds me that focusing on myself or what I do never provides purpose and hope. It doesn't last. He redirects the day, stripping away temporary things and offering something eternal (2 Cor. 4:17-18).

Instead of believing the lie that God is somehow against me or keeping what’s best from me, I must speak the truth to my heart that God is good and all He does is good (Ps. 119:68). That He who sacrificed His own Son for my sake would not deny me anything good (Rom. 8:28). That what I see as a wasted detour is actually God's pruning method so I might be more fruitful (Jn. 15:1-2).

If I can bring the gospel to mind in my detours, I can recognize:

Even the delaying of my goals or the frustration of my plans is an act of God’s grace.

Yes, including the timing on this very blog post. My own writing agenda and goals were delayed time and time again. I've attempted to finish a blog post for an entire week (talk about waste of time!), with my own share of detours, chronic illness flares, wrestlings over writing, and inability to communicate my thoughts.

While it's been frustrating to feel so stuck, God is using this to remind me to let Him do His work today in the delays. To not fight it. To accept today's detours as an unexpected, but good, grace of God. He only does what is best for me. And for you. 

May we learn to rest in His goodness and care.

"For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. 

No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly." 

Psalm 84:11

Finding Life in the Death of Self

Whether it's laying down a dream, your future, or a deep longing, much of the Christian life involves death. It’s painful. Idols are powerful. Desires are strong. We grasp for control, success, recognition, power, or acceptance—desperately trying to prove ourselves.

But Jesus explains that dying to self is part of our life in Him:

“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23

Dying to self looks different for each person in particular seasons.

• For the chronic illness sufferer, it may mean giving up future plans and learning to rest with your limitations and spend extensive time doing routine tasks.
• For the young mom, it means changing lots of diapers, endless laundry, and having conversations with a two year old all day.
• For the student with an annoying roommate, it means learning to overlook small things and love them more than yourself. 
• For the elderly person, it could mean investing in kids around you when you'd rather enjoy the free-time and quiet.
• For business person, it could mean sacrificing a promotion because it involves dishonest business ethics.
• For the pastor, it may mean losing your reputation because you did what was right.
• For the missionary, it could look like sharing the gospel for a decade and seeing no tangible fruit.
• For the parent with a prodigal, it may mean giving up your desire to fix their foolish choices and simply pray fervently for them.
• For the person with a broken relationship, it may mean forgiving someone who's hurt you deeply.

While each circumstance involves unique struggles, they all require dying to self. Are you frustrated with the "dying to self" process?  Think of it this way:

"An easygoing, non self-denying life will never be one of power." Hudson Taylor

Do you want your life to radiate the joy and hope of Christ? It doesn't happen when things are easy. God, in His grace, chooses to work through the disappoint, hurt, loss, and self-denial. Because in that process we learn to lay down our hopes, dreams, and even fears.

And the result? We find that Jesus is better.

“Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.” Philippians 3:8

This is the beauty in dying to self. Taking up my cross results in great, eternal gain (Phil. 1:21). When we strive to build our own little kingdoms, to fight for what we want, it produces defeat and death. But when we die to self, we find life (Mk 8:35).

Just as a seed has to die in order to grow into a strong, flourishing tree, so we have to die to ourselves for God to produce beautiful fruit.

As much as I want my world to revolve around me, it leaves me empty. Only when I die to myself can I find life and joy. The joy that Jesus really is the greatest treasure. The ultimate satisfaction.

May you find life today in the death of yourself.

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20