Some days, I get things checked off my to-do list and am proud of my accomplishments. Other days, I have grand plans, and my symptoms nail me, forcing me to stop and rest.
Early on in chronic illness, I lived in almost constant frustration with the de-railing of my plans and would become incredibly overwhelmed at my inability to accomplish my goals. However, over the last few years God has continued to teach me to rest and accept the detours as a form of grace.
While setting and accomplishing goals are very good things, it’s so easy for me to attach my worth to what I do. I become obsessed with my accomplishments, my success, my dreams, my goals, my ministry.
So God, in His grace, gently reminds me that focusing on myself or what I do never provides purpose and hope. It doesn't last. He redirects the day, stripping away temporary things and offering something eternal (2 Cor. 4:17-18).
Instead of believing the lie that God is somehow against me or keeping what’s best from me, I must speak the truth to my heart that God is good and all He does is good (Ps. 119:68). That He who sacrificed His own Son for my sake would not deny me anything good (Rom. 8:28). That what I see as a wasted detour is actually God's pruning method so I might be more fruitful (Jn. 15:1-2).
If I can bring the gospel to mind in my detours, I can recognize:
Even the delaying of my goals or the frustration of my plans is an act of God’s grace.
Yes, including the timing on this very blog post. My own writing agenda and goals were delayed time and time again. I've attempted to finish a blog post for an entire week (talk about waste of time!), with my own share of detours, chronic illness flares, wrestlings over writing, and inability to communicate my thoughts.
While it's been frustrating to feel so stuck, God is using this to remind me to let Him do His work today in the delays. To not fight it. To accept today's detours as an unexpected, but good, grace of God. He only does what is best for me. And for you.
May we learn to rest in His goodness and care.
"For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly."
Psalm 84:11
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